Book 39 of 2008: The Royal Treatment by MaryJanice Davidson

Book Description:

Alaskan Royal Family Book 1 - Alaska is an independent country with it's own royal family. The king, who likes to mingle with his subjects incognito, meets Christina, a loudmouth chef who speaks her mind using vividly colorful phrases. The king invites her to the castle; she thinks for a job interview but he sees her as a worthy bride for his crown-prince, David. Can Christina's confident personality carry her through planning a royal wedding and a royal family crisis? See how Christina and David's relationship goes from arranged to blistering in spite of the cold climate!

My Opinion:

I can't believe I am just now getting around to starting on this series. I've had this book for quite some time and now that I've read it I can't believe what I was missing out on. This book was hilarious!!! Since I was going to see MaryJanice at Borders again this past week I had decided I wanted to start in on more of her books and this was the series I started... I think I made a great choice. This is one of her non-paranormal series. It is a contemporary romance, but as with pretty much all MJD books, it's chock full of comedy. I love her snarky/sarcastic sense of humor! She's a riot! I'll definitely be reading the other 2 books in this series very soon!

Book 32 of 2008: Suckers by Jeff Strand and J.A. Konrath

Book Description:

Vampires.

Well, not vampires—Pires. Whack-jobs who think they're vampires. They've inducted an innocent young girl into their cult, and her mother has hired legendary (not in a good way) private investigator Harry McGlade to get her back.

Infiltrating this bloodthirsty cult is too big of a job for just one man, especially when he has the intelligence of half a man. But when he joins forces with the also-less-than-100%-competent Andrew Mayhem, maybe, just maybe, their combined efforts will succeed in thwarting this savage menace. Or perhaps they'll just embarrass themselves and get killed.

Masters of humor-tainted-horror (or horror-tainted-humor) J.A. Konrath and Jeff Strand team up for the first time in this hilariously gruesome adventure that does not contain a single lame "You suck!" or "That bites!" joke. Suckers. The ultimate Idiots vs. Phony Vampires extravaganza!

My Opinion:

I'm a bit late in blogging about this book as I read it a week ago when it first arrived in my mailbox. I pretty much read it in 1 setting, but had to go to bed in order to wake up for work so I slept and then got up and read the last 20 pages before getting ready. LOL!!! I certainly couldn't resist this book considering it contains 2 of my all-time favorite authors in it... Jeff Strand who I've been obsessed with for MANY years and J.A. Konrath who I'm a new fan of this year (and he's definitely a new fave!).

I wasn't sure what to expect throwing Andrew Mayhem and Harry McGlade together as both are very bizarre and extreme characters, but I knew it'd be a fun ride! The book started off with Andrew getting into his typical trouble with his wife as he screwed things up yet again and then just as fast he gets himself into more severe trouble by running into Harry. I was surprised to find that Konrath's writing style in this book took on more of Strand's style with the slap-stick humor... I wasn't expecting that. The story flowed really well together considering the story was written with every other chapter written by the opposite author and taken from the opposite character's point-of-view.

I'd love to see future stories containing both Harry and Andrew. Maybe I'll have to put a little buzz in Jeff and J.A.'s ears. In the meantime, I'll be reading the next Konrath book very soon as I still have 2 in the Jack Daniels series that I need to read. Now if Jeff would only release the next Andrew Mayhem book... *hint hint*

Book 22 of 2008: Gleefully Macabre Tales by Jeff Strand

Book Description:

Cemetery Dance magazine says that "No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." Gleefully Macabre Tales compiles 32 of his most twisted blends of cringe-worthy horror and ghoulish humor, with a couple of serious pieces thrown in just to mess with you.

This collection includes tales from his three chapbooks (Two Twisted Nuts, Socially Awkward Moments With An Aspiring Lunatic, and Funny Stories of Scary Sex) and numerous other stories both popular and obscure, including "Really, Really Ferocious" (the one with the wiener dog), "High Stakes" (the one with the slot machine), "Roasting Weenies by Hellfire" (the one with Satan), "The Bad Candy House" (the one with a very unpleasant old man at Halloween) and "The Socket" (the one with the eyeball socket).

It also includes two of his entries in the World Horror Convention gross-out contest. But you don't want to read them.

So if you're looking to laugh, gasp, gag, or do all three at the same time, making sort of a weird sound that hurts your lungs and elicits odd glances from nearby pedestrians, don't miss Gleefully Macabre Tales!

My Opinion:

Being a huge Jeff Strand fan I was torn when it came to buying this book as I wanted the book, but the covered creeps the hell out of me due to my fear of clowns. *shudder* In the end, I gave in and just try not to look at the cover much.

This book is stuffed full o' Strand goodness and has a little something for everyone, well... maybe not EVERYONE, but for all of us twisted, psychotic people that like to read about gross things. ha ha!!! My favorite new-to-me stories within were (in random order):

Socially Awkward Moments With An Aspiring Lunatic
Werewolf Porno
Glimpses
Abbey's Shreik
Howard, the Tenth Reinder & Howard Rises
Wasting Grandma

I actually have the chapter books for the first 2 mentioned, but hadn't had the chance to read them yet, so now I can keep from breaking the mini-spines of those chapter books for now. :)

In addition, 3 of Strand's stories that I've enjoyed in the past and still enjoy are:

The Socket
The Bad Candy House
Mr. Sensitive

Probably my least favorite stories in the book were:

Them Old West Mutations (this one reminded me of Mandibles and just isn't my kind of story)
One of Them (I guess I'm in the majority on this one based on the story notes at the back of the book)

It's nice to have a compilation of Strand's stories all in one book instead of having to go from one book to another and I do hope there is a GMT 2, 3, etc... in the future.

I did think one thing while reading this though... if I ever meet Jeff Strand & there is a chainsaw anywhere nearby... I'm running like hell!!! It seems like a chainsaw is a VERY common weapon in his stories and I wouldn't doubt that that would be his weapon of choice if he were to ever have a breakdown and go on a killing spree!!!

Book 17 of 2008: Dead Over Heels by MaryJanice Davidson

Book Description:

Three all-new paranormal stories of lust, laughter, and love from the New York Times bestselling author, including an original novella featuring Undead queen Betsy Taylor.

With her trademark "sassy dialogue, lusty lovemaking [and] irreverent humor"* New York Times bestselling author MaryJanice Davidson delighted fans with her wickedly sexy and wildly funny anthology, Dead and Loving It-stories in which the worlds of the Wyndham Werewolves and Undead Queens collided. Now she returns to that sensual and irresistible after-dark realm of werewolves, vampires, and mermaids in three more original novellas--including an all-new Betsy Taylor novella.

My Opinion:

Undead and Wed: A Honey Moon Story
This story follows up Betsy & Sinclair’s wedding. I couldn’t believe Jessica and Nick decided to "crash" their honeymoon. LOL!!! The story was classic and I about died when the shoe got stuck in the wall. I do wonder how Nick will be getting along with everyone after the events in this story. Only a bit longer to wait for UNDEAD AND UNWORTHY. YAY!!!

Survivors
Fred the mermaid doesn’t actually show up in this story, but it tells a bit about the adventures of a loan guy, Con Conlinson, who is stranded at sea, and is being followed by a "silver severed head" better known as a mermaid. HA HA!!! Enter Ree, the beautiful mermaid, who ends up having to rescue Stupid Con and help him survive. This story had me laughing at several points and I hope the characters appear in future mermaid stories by MJD.

Speed Dating, Werewolf Style
Okay, so Laura was telling me about this book and how this story wasn’t all that great... yada yada. Well, let’s just say that I made the mistake of taking this book with me to lunch the other day and while I’m sitting there eating my Wendy’s chili I read a part in the story that makes me laugh so hard I actually choked on my chili! Due to that scene and many, MANY others this became my favorite story of the anthology. I just kept thinking that one day that I may end up doing some kind of speed dating thing like Cain does in this story.

Book 4 of 2008: Disposal by Jeff Strand

Yet another great Strand read! This is a short novella (only like 100 pages) but it's jam-packed with Jeff's witty off-the-handle jokes and gruesome descriptions. The book initially starts off with several popular authors (incluing J.A. Konrath & MaryJanice Davidson) blurbing their NEGATIVE opinions of both Jeff Strand and his book and then ending with a rebuttal from Mr. Strand himself before the story itself starts off. (if you read this book do NOT skip over the introductions because they are classic!!!)

The story starts off with the main character, Frank, robbing a dry cleaning facility and Frank's day just goes downhill from there as the girl he robs asks him to kill her husband (who she's already tried killing plenty of different ways with absolutely no luck in taking his final breath away), he gets mugged, pissed on by a wino, questioned by the cops, devoured (almost) by a couple of homeless guys, etc... This story is full to the brim with events that you can't possibly fathom actually happening, but that's what we love so much about Jeff's stories. He truly allows us to step away from reality and just shake our heads & bust a gut laughing at this truly bizzare situations he puts his character's in.

Once again, I have to raise a glass up to cheer Jeff Strand for another fabulous story! (or kiss ass to as Cornelius would tell me)

Description of Disposal:

Meet Frank, a truly reprehensible human being. An egotistical sexist morally vacant scumbag who gets off on committing armed robbery. The kind of creep whose smirk you want to rub off with razor blade-laced sandpaper.

But when he robs Gretchen at gunpoint, he'll get a lot more than the twelve bucks in her cash register. She makes him an offer he can't refuse: Kill her husband in exchange for sex. The problem is that her husband is hard to kill. Really hard to kill. Like, the bastard just won't frickin' DIE!!!

Lots of bad and occasionally disgusting things happen.

Book 2 of 2008: The Sinister Mr. Corpse by Jeff Strand

After all these years I didn't think Jeff would ever write a book that I loved more than his Andrew Mayhem series, but I was wrong. I have a new favorite... THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE!!! I absolutely loved this book! The storyline was great, the characters were beyond creative, and Jeff's humor kicked ass as usual! There was one scene in the book that I still can't stop thinking about where I actually got laughing so hard I had a snorting fit (and I have my snorting pretty well under control nowadays... LOL!!) and was crying! Jeff's books, albeit grotesque at times, have the ability to make me laugh even if I'm in the worst of moods. THAT is why he is my favorite author of all time. Anyone that can cheer me up with just 1 sentence or even a couple key phrases is someone I will never stop reading. So... THANK YOU JEFF!!! I honestly haven't read all of your books/stories yet (though I think I only have 2 novels left), but mainly because I'm savoring them and trying to make sure I have something "fresh" by you when an occassion comes that I truly need your books to brighten up my day a bit more. To EVERYONE ELSE... if you haven't read any of Jeff Strand's books... what the hell are you waiting for?!?!?! Go to his website and I promise you that you won't be disappointed!

Here's the description for THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE:

Zombies…

Sometimes they rise from the grave, hungering for human flesh…

Sometimes they're created by a mad scientist intent on forming an unstoppable army of the undead…

Sometimes the zombie plague is transmitted by a horrific virus…

…and sometimes, they're resurrected in front of millions of viewers as part of a live primetime television special.

This is the story of Stanley Dabernath, zombie. A regular guy who dies, is brought back to life as a ghastly walking cadaver, and becomes the international sensation hailed by the press as The Amazing Mr. Corpse. Fame! Wealth! Groupies! Despite his ghoulish appearance, Stanley finds himself living the dream.

But in many ways, it's harder to be a celebrity than a zombie. The suits behind Project Second Chance want to tell him how to behave in public. It's difficult to enjoy a simple restaurant meal in peace. There's constant pressure coming at him from all sides–not to mention that many people consider him a vile blasphemy that should be erased from existence.

And does Project Second Chance have Stanley's best interests in mind, or is the real reason behind his reanimation something much more…SINISTER?