Book 42 of 2008: Benjamin’s Parasite by Jeff Strand

I won't say much about this one here since it's not published yet, but I'll link to the post that Jeff has announced the release of his latest and greatest...

Benjamin's Parasite release date info

I will say this though... FABULOUS BOOK!!! My favorite part was the scene at the hardware store.

Book 32 of 2008: Suckers by Jeff Strand and J.A. Konrath

Book Description:

Vampires.

Well, not vampires—Pires. Whack-jobs who think they're vampires. They've inducted an innocent young girl into their cult, and her mother has hired legendary (not in a good way) private investigator Harry McGlade to get her back.

Infiltrating this bloodthirsty cult is too big of a job for just one man, especially when he has the intelligence of half a man. But when he joins forces with the also-less-than-100%-competent Andrew Mayhem, maybe, just maybe, their combined efforts will succeed in thwarting this savage menace. Or perhaps they'll just embarrass themselves and get killed.

Masters of humor-tainted-horror (or horror-tainted-humor) J.A. Konrath and Jeff Strand team up for the first time in this hilariously gruesome adventure that does not contain a single lame "You suck!" or "That bites!" joke. Suckers. The ultimate Idiots vs. Phony Vampires extravaganza!

My Opinion:

I'm a bit late in blogging about this book as I read it a week ago when it first arrived in my mailbox. I pretty much read it in 1 setting, but had to go to bed in order to wake up for work so I slept and then got up and read the last 20 pages before getting ready. LOL!!! I certainly couldn't resist this book considering it contains 2 of my all-time favorite authors in it... Jeff Strand who I've been obsessed with for MANY years and J.A. Konrath who I'm a new fan of this year (and he's definitely a new fave!).

I wasn't sure what to expect throwing Andrew Mayhem and Harry McGlade together as both are very bizarre and extreme characters, but I knew it'd be a fun ride! The book started off with Andrew getting into his typical trouble with his wife as he screwed things up yet again and then just as fast he gets himself into more severe trouble by running into Harry. I was surprised to find that Konrath's writing style in this book took on more of Strand's style with the slap-stick humor... I wasn't expecting that. The story flowed really well together considering the story was written with every other chapter written by the opposite author and taken from the opposite character's point-of-view.

I'd love to see future stories containing both Harry and Andrew. Maybe I'll have to put a little buzz in Jeff and J.A.'s ears. In the meantime, I'll be reading the next Konrath book very soon as I still have 2 in the Jack Daniels series that I need to read. Now if Jeff would only release the next Andrew Mayhem book... *hint hint*

Book 22 of 2008: Gleefully Macabre Tales by Jeff Strand

Book Description:

Cemetery Dance magazine says that "No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." Gleefully Macabre Tales compiles 32 of his most twisted blends of cringe-worthy horror and ghoulish humor, with a couple of serious pieces thrown in just to mess with you.

This collection includes tales from his three chapbooks (Two Twisted Nuts, Socially Awkward Moments With An Aspiring Lunatic, and Funny Stories of Scary Sex) and numerous other stories both popular and obscure, including "Really, Really Ferocious" (the one with the wiener dog), "High Stakes" (the one with the slot machine), "Roasting Weenies by Hellfire" (the one with Satan), "The Bad Candy House" (the one with a very unpleasant old man at Halloween) and "The Socket" (the one with the eyeball socket).

It also includes two of his entries in the World Horror Convention gross-out contest. But you don't want to read them.

So if you're looking to laugh, gasp, gag, or do all three at the same time, making sort of a weird sound that hurts your lungs and elicits odd glances from nearby pedestrians, don't miss Gleefully Macabre Tales!

My Opinion:

Being a huge Jeff Strand fan I was torn when it came to buying this book as I wanted the book, but the covered creeps the hell out of me due to my fear of clowns. *shudder* In the end, I gave in and just try not to look at the cover much.

This book is stuffed full o' Strand goodness and has a little something for everyone, well... maybe not EVERYONE, but for all of us twisted, psychotic people that like to read about gross things. ha ha!!! My favorite new-to-me stories within were (in random order):

Socially Awkward Moments With An Aspiring Lunatic
Werewolf Porno
Glimpses
Abbey's Shreik
Howard, the Tenth Reinder & Howard Rises
Wasting Grandma

I actually have the chapter books for the first 2 mentioned, but hadn't had the chance to read them yet, so now I can keep from breaking the mini-spines of those chapter books for now. :)

In addition, 3 of Strand's stories that I've enjoyed in the past and still enjoy are:

The Socket
The Bad Candy House
Mr. Sensitive

Probably my least favorite stories in the book were:

Them Old West Mutations (this one reminded me of Mandibles and just isn't my kind of story)
One of Them (I guess I'm in the majority on this one based on the story notes at the back of the book)

It's nice to have a compilation of Strand's stories all in one book instead of having to go from one book to another and I do hope there is a GMT 2, 3, etc... in the future.

I did think one thing while reading this though... if I ever meet Jeff Strand & there is a chainsaw anywhere nearby... I'm running like hell!!! It seems like a chainsaw is a VERY common weapon in his stories and I wouldn't doubt that that would be his weapon of choice if he were to ever have a breakdown and go on a killing spree!!!

Book 16 of 2008: Right House on the Left by Steve Vernon, Mark McLaughlin, and L.L. Soares

Book Description:

Right House on the Left is a deluxe chapbook with three imaginative tales mixing humor and horror. The first is "The Outhouse on the Edge of Forever," by Steve Vernon, where a mystical outhouse built for a community picnic becomes the source of some inspired horror and hilarity. "Don’t Look in the Little Storage Room Behind the Furnace," by Mark McLaughlin, takes many of the horror fiction staples and parodies them in a tale about a family moving into a house with a haunted past. Finally, in "The Blood Splattered Mirror Ball," by L.L. Soares, an exclusive club becomes haunted by the fun-loving spirits of some unpopular people who had always been refused admittance. The chapbook presents a wide variety of writing styles and tales and they all work well for those who are familiar with the horror genre. The chapbook is perfect for horror fans and recommended for libraries that support a large community of horror readers.

My Opinion:

Right House on the Left was published by Novello Publishers in a limited release. I lucked into receiving my copy direct from one of the wonderful authors within, L.L. Soares, who I’m happy to have become really good friends with thanks to the wonderful Internet world!

Soares’ story, THE BLOOD-SPLATTERED MIRROR BALL, starts off with a scene of a guy snorting coke off of a model’s ass and from then on everything that happens makes you feel like you, the reader, are the one snorting that coke! Soares describes the events of the party in so much vivid detail that you feel you are standing in the midst of it, but thankfully you’re not as some very f’ed up stuff happens... though I’ll leave that for each of you to read as to not spoil it.

In addition to L.L’s story, I also got my first peek at the works of both Steve Vernon and Mark McLaughlin. Vernon’s story, THE OUTHOUSE ON THE EDGE OF TERROR used some very unique alliteration that I found amusing and who can go wrong with a book full of potty humor? McLaughlin’s story, DON’T LOOK IN THE LITTLE STORAGE ROOM BEHIND THE FURNACE, also had a bit of potty humor in it as well what with the zombie eating creatures that pooped the zombies back out. HA HA HA!!! That was just classic!!! And ya know, now that I think back on it, Soares’ story also had potty humor due to the horse scene.

So... all in all... this was one "shitty" chapterbook... and I mean that in the best possible way as this story collection is hilarious and extremely well-written. I loved all of the varying styles of writing and the combination of stories. I will definitely be looking into other works of all three of these authors, as well as anything else published by Novello Publishers!

Book 4 of 2008: Disposal by Jeff Strand

Yet another great Strand read! This is a short novella (only like 100 pages) but it's jam-packed with Jeff's witty off-the-handle jokes and gruesome descriptions. The book initially starts off with several popular authors (incluing J.A. Konrath & MaryJanice Davidson) blurbing their NEGATIVE opinions of both Jeff Strand and his book and then ending with a rebuttal from Mr. Strand himself before the story itself starts off. (if you read this book do NOT skip over the introductions because they are classic!!!)

The story starts off with the main character, Frank, robbing a dry cleaning facility and Frank's day just goes downhill from there as the girl he robs asks him to kill her husband (who she's already tried killing plenty of different ways with absolutely no luck in taking his final breath away), he gets mugged, pissed on by a wino, questioned by the cops, devoured (almost) by a couple of homeless guys, etc... This story is full to the brim with events that you can't possibly fathom actually happening, but that's what we love so much about Jeff's stories. He truly allows us to step away from reality and just shake our heads & bust a gut laughing at this truly bizzare situations he puts his character's in.

Once again, I have to raise a glass up to cheer Jeff Strand for another fabulous story! (or kiss ass to as Cornelius would tell me)

Description of Disposal:

Meet Frank, a truly reprehensible human being. An egotistical sexist morally vacant scumbag who gets off on committing armed robbery. The kind of creep whose smirk you want to rub off with razor blade-laced sandpaper.

But when he robs Gretchen at gunpoint, he'll get a lot more than the twelve bucks in her cash register. She makes him an offer he can't refuse: Kill her husband in exchange for sex. The problem is that her husband is hard to kill. Really hard to kill. Like, the bastard just won't frickin' DIE!!!

Lots of bad and occasionally disgusting things happen.

Book 2 of 2008: The Sinister Mr. Corpse by Jeff Strand

After all these years I didn't think Jeff would ever write a book that I loved more than his Andrew Mayhem series, but I was wrong. I have a new favorite... THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE!!! I absolutely loved this book! The storyline was great, the characters were beyond creative, and Jeff's humor kicked ass as usual! There was one scene in the book that I still can't stop thinking about where I actually got laughing so hard I had a snorting fit (and I have my snorting pretty well under control nowadays... LOL!!) and was crying! Jeff's books, albeit grotesque at times, have the ability to make me laugh even if I'm in the worst of moods. THAT is why he is my favorite author of all time. Anyone that can cheer me up with just 1 sentence or even a couple key phrases is someone I will never stop reading. So... THANK YOU JEFF!!! I honestly haven't read all of your books/stories yet (though I think I only have 2 novels left), but mainly because I'm savoring them and trying to make sure I have something "fresh" by you when an occassion comes that I truly need your books to brighten up my day a bit more. To EVERYONE ELSE... if you haven't read any of Jeff Strand's books... what the hell are you waiting for?!?!?! Go to his website and I promise you that you won't be disappointed!

Here's the description for THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE:

Zombies…

Sometimes they rise from the grave, hungering for human flesh…

Sometimes they're created by a mad scientist intent on forming an unstoppable army of the undead…

Sometimes the zombie plague is transmitted by a horrific virus…

…and sometimes, they're resurrected in front of millions of viewers as part of a live primetime television special.

This is the story of Stanley Dabernath, zombie. A regular guy who dies, is brought back to life as a ghastly walking cadaver, and becomes the international sensation hailed by the press as The Amazing Mr. Corpse. Fame! Wealth! Groupies! Despite his ghoulish appearance, Stanley finds himself living the dream.

But in many ways, it's harder to be a celebrity than a zombie. The suits behind Project Second Chance want to tell him how to behave in public. It's difficult to enjoy a simple restaurant meal in peace. There's constant pressure coming at him from all sides–not to mention that many people consider him a vile blasphemy that should be erased from existence.

And does Project Second Chance have Stanley's best interests in mind, or is the real reason behind his reanimation something much more…SINISTER?