Book 62 of 2008: Vigilantes of Love by John Everson

Book Description:

The collection includes 15 dark fantasy and horror tales, including the title story, written especially for this collection and "Lovesong" a 5th Place winner in the 2000 World Horror Convention Fiction Contest. Included are tales reprinted from the anthologies TransVersions and Freaks, Geeks & Sideshow Floozies, and the magazines Sirius Visions, Crossroads, Eulogy and Plot, as well as a number of original works.

My Opinion:

Yet another great anthology by John Everson. This collection isn't as dark as his NEEDLES & SINS collection so I did enjoy it a bit more, but this one is still a great read! Several of the stories in VIGILANTES OF LOVE left me with a warm feeling in the heart as the stories were just rather "sweet", which is very different from what I'm used to reading by Everson (think sacrificial orgies, demons, etc...) Within this collection, I'd have to say that my favorite stories (I won't include AFTER THE FIFTH STEP since I read it within NEEDLES & SINS already) would have to have been (in order):

Lovesong
A Lack of Signs
Christmas, the Hard Way
Seven Deadly Seeds
Trick and Treat
Hard Heart

I enjoyed the other stories as well, but these really stood out to me.

The sad thing about finishing this book is that I just realized I only have 1 more John Everson book left to read. Outside of that, there are only a few odds 'n' ends short stories out there. So... hopefully he'll be writing some new stuff soon 'cause I need more books to read!!! (yeah, yeah... I have other authors to read, but I need more by my favorite! *grin*)

Book 61 of 2008: Brides of the Impaler by Edward Lee

Book Description:

When Cristina and her husband moved into the brownstone, they thought it would be their dream house. But almost immediately something began to beckon to her. She can feel it calling her, luring her, filling her dreams with newfound passion, unbridled lust and promises of ecstasies she'd never thought possible. Soon there will be no turning back, for the time has come for the unholy ritual performed by the…BRIDES OF THE IMPALER

My Opinion:

I had a really hard time sticking with this book and therefore put it down several times in exchange for other books, but in the end really enjoyed this book. I think my struggles with this one had to do with there being so many different characters involved and so there were so many different storylines that were being jumped around from. As the story progressed I got more and more involved so that helped, but I still found myself struggling a little with remembering exactly who was who at times. The book also picked up the tempo erotically at towards the second half which, of course, also helped better the read. Overall, I think BRIDES OF THE IMPALER was a very enjoyable read, but for someone wanting to check out Lee's books, I'd recommend MONSTROSITY over this one. I read it a while back and couldn't put it down!

Book 59 of 2008: Sacrifice by John Everson

Book Description:

Ariana is on a killing spree. Dressed in a black vinyl catsuit, she lures men to hotel rooms, where they will leave their bodies behindin multiple pieces. That's the part of the story that the newspapers know. The "Sunday Slasher," as she's dubbed for her habit of leaving behind a corpse every Sunday morning, doesn't just have a wealth of misanthropic bones in her body. She's also got a hunger for ultimate power and control. Through ritual sexual sacrifice, she aims to open the door between this world and the domain of the powerful, but violently perverse Curburide demons. She will be their queen, and they will rape the world.

Joe Kieran is a young reporter who has just left the East Coast port town of Terrel with a demon on his back. Literally. Having forged a covenant with the demon, Malachai, to save the lives of two women, he now has a constant invisible companion, albeit one who is less than trustworthy. When Joe picks up Alex, a teen hitchhiker on her way to the Rocky Mountains, he soon finds that he's been setup by Malachai. Alex is more than just a perky runaway; she has the ability to talk to ghosts, something her right-wing parents forced her to hide. But now she will need that talent more than ever; as Malachai sets them all on the path that can only lead to... Sacrifice.

My Opinion:

After having chatted with John Everson, I knew to expect SACRIFICE to be a bit more intense than COVENANT was, but I didn't quite expect what I got. This book was simply amazing!!! I will warn that this is definitely not a book for those with a weak stomach or those that don't like graphic gore or sex in their reads because there are plenty of both in this book. If those things don't bother you and you want an intense, wild ride, well... this is definitely the book to read! (granted, I recommend first reading COVENANT since it is the predecessor to this one )

In COVENANT I grew to like all the characters who lived in Terrel, but in SACRIFICE... I *loved* all the characters! Everson did a fabulous job in really giving a background story on many new characters (especially 3 of the key roles in the book: Ariana, Alex, and Jeremy) and I really felt connected in some way to all of these characters.

The final chapter of this book disappointed me in for a couple of reasons...

1) I was saddened by the final "sacrifices" of the book.

2) I hated that my adventures with these characters was now over. I could've read on about their lives and adventures for a MUCH longer time.

With all that said, I have now found my new favorite book. Last in that spot was THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE by Jeff Strand, but my true love is actually erotic horror and that is what John Everson has provided me with SACRIFICE. I send many kudos John's way for such a fun-filled ride and look forward to all future releases. And to those that have yet to check out his books, I again say... what are you waiting for?!?!?!

Book 57 of 2008: Failure by John Everson

Book Description:

Raymond is such a failure, he can't even kill himself and get it right. Cindy just plain doesn't care; she'll get on her knees for anyone beneath the football field bleachers to score a nickel bag hit. And Sal is a frustrated goon with a hook nose and an attitude so sour he can't nail a girl even with the lure of free dope and a getaway car.

When these three desperate teens meet Aaron, a failed practitioner of the dark arts who offers them the best high they've ever smoked in exchange for some kinky sexplay inside his pentagram, things can only go from bad to worse. Aaron hopes to ensnare and re-birth the spirit of a late witch, to capture her power from beyond the grave for his own.

Soon, they'll all learn the darkest, bloodiest, most terrifying definition of Failure.

My Opinion:

John Everson is certainly NO failure!!! This short chapbook released by Delirium Books is both gorgeous and well-written. Everson both designed the cover art and wrote the story... a man of MANY talents! The story starts off introducing the reader to each main character in the book as well as to what is going on with them. From there it flashes back and forth between flashbacks to what happened in the past to get them to this point and what is happening in the present. Everson's use of such intense imagery makes you feel like you are there watching the scene first hand. The flashback scenes are so "wild" that some readers might not be able to handle them, but TRUE horror fans will appreciate the writing style as much as I do.

John Everson has "wowed" me more and more with each book I've read by him. I have always enjoyed erotic horror to a point, but he has taken it to a whole new level for me with his writing style. He has ultimately become my favorite author. To anyone reading this that is a fan of horror... if you haven't checked out John's work yet, I HIGHLY recommend doing so. If you are a fan of novels, start of with COVENANT. If you like short stories, track down NEEDLES & SINS. I promise you... you won't be disappointed.

Book 56 of 2008: Needles & Sins by John Everson

Book Description:

Roses scented with bitter deception, Oracles redolent in hidden redemption, a body-mod-obsessed ingenue with an amputee fetish and a demon gone soft on a bitter angel. Dreamcatchers, an alternate Nativity with a pimp God and a non-compliant Mary, Stupid Bitch the three-legged cat and the secret explanation of how Germany almost won the war with the devil on their side. These are just a few of the provocative sets in these 19 stories rife with "Needles & Sins"...

My Opinion:

I HIGHLY recommend this anthology to fans of horror! There is a variety of stories of all kinds and I found myself only disliking 1 story in the whole book and even that one I am considering re-reading as I think I may have been distracted at the time of. Definitely give this book a shot as Everson has created a mix of bizarro, eroticism, kink, horror, fantasy, etc... A must read for fans of dark fantasy, horror, and erotic horror!

Some of my favorite stories in this book include:

Something Inside
The Beginning Was the End
The Char-Lee
Bloodroses
Green Green Glass
Mutilation Street
And Then Some
After the Fifth Step

And if short stories aren't your thing... read this book anyway! I typically am not the biggest fan of short stories, but I LOVED these! The last 5 stories in this book are all circus themed and are all tied together so it's kinda like reading a short novella.

Book 55 of 2008: Candy in the Dumpster by Various Authors

Book Description:

The first Dark Arts Books release is Candy in the Dumpster, a compilation of 12 "new and used" horror stories by four Chicago authors: Jay Bonansinga, Bill Breedlove, John Everson, and Martin Mundt. This volume features an introduction by another Chicago horror veteran, Mort Castle.

Contents:

MORT CASTLE
Introduction: Candy in the Dumpster

MARTIN MUNDT:
A Perfect Plan
The Cure
Babies Is Smart

JOHN EVERSON:
The White House
Swallowing the Pill
Pumpkin Head

BILL BREEDLOVE:
The Lost Collection
Free to Good Home
Drowning in the Sea of Love

JAY BONANSINGA:
Animal Rites
Stash
Deal Memo

My Opinion:

As with all anthologies, there were some stories I loved and some I didn't really care for.

Mundt's A PERFECT PLAN had me laughing like crazy every time I read the word "shit" and even though I really, really shouldn't have found the story funny, BABIES IS SMART left me in stitches! It's a HORRIBLY wrong story, but written extremely funny so I still enjoyed it. On the other hand, I just didn't get the point of his story THE CURE. I guess it just wasn't the story for me. *shrugs*

Now... Everson's stories on the other hand... I loved 'em all! No surprise there really as I have yet to read anything by him I haven't enjoyed. THE WHITE HOUSE story did start off a little slow for me just because I was trying to figure out what was actually going on, but once I got into it I really enjoyed it. SWALLOWING THE PILL had me from the get-go wanting to know what was going to happen. And PUMPKIN HEAD, well... EVERYONE should read PUMPKIN HEAD! I mean, it's just a really "bad" Halloween story... LOL! (and I mean "bad" in such a good way... hee hee!!!) And if you act fast you can check out the story on John's website as he has it up right now for Halloween!!! Click below:

Pumpkin Head

Breedlove's stories... well, I wasn't really impressed with THE LOST COLLECTION, though the ending had a nice twist to it... and FREE TO A GOOD HOME was just a story. I didn't really get it I guess. However, I did really end up enjoying DROWNING IN THE SEA OF LOVE. It was VERY different compared to his first two stories and I was pleasantly surprised when I got to that one after being disappointed by the first two reads by this author. This just goes to show that I should never give up on an author based on just a few short stories!

Lastly, Bonansinga... ANIMAL RITES... meh... another story in the anthology that I just didn't really get the gist of I guess. However, STASH I ended up enjoying. I didn't think I was going to when I first started reading it, but as the story moved along I started getting into it and it ended up being quite a good story. The last "story", DEAL MEMO, I'm hesitant to call a "story" because it didn't have the feel of an actual story I can't really say whether I enjoyed or not because I can't say I totally got it. The reason being is, I haven't seen the movie THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST. I guess had I seen it I might have been able to get this and laughed at it a bit more.

Overall though... I did enjoy this anthology and am looking forward to reading the other anthologies that Dark Arts Books has published.

Book 53 of 2008: ??? by ???

This was a book I was asked by a particular author to read/edit prior to it being submitted to his/her publisher so I'm not going to post a review here. The person has been given my feedback on the book and once the book has been published I'll re-read it and give it an "official" review then.

Just wanted to note it here as to not mess up my book count for the year... hee hee!!!

Book 52 of 2008: Darkness Wakes of Tim Waggoner

Book Description:

In the small town of Ptolemy, darkness is a living thing. Its home is in the shadows of a bizarre club named Penumbra, where it is worshipped by followers who need the pleasure it gives them. They live for it. And they kill for it.

When Aaron was first introduced to Penumbra, he thought it was just a secret club where members could indulge their kinkier fantasies. As he learned the club's true purpose, he began to change in subtle, horrible ways. Now it's time for Aaron to prepare his first human sacrifice. It's too late for him to back out now, but murder is the least of Penumbra's sins. The true terror is still to come, when...Darkness Wakes.

My Opinion:

Yet another fabulous book from Waggoner! I've enjoyed every book Leisure book that has been put out by this wonderful author and I hope that there will be more to come in the near future. Waggoner has a way of mixing horror and sex together in such a way that it just fits perfectly... not to mention the fact that his imagery is so detailed that you can actually picture pretty much every scene in great detail. I highly recommend his books to any fan of the horror genre that doesn't mind graphic details in their reads.

Book 51 of 2008: Johnny Gruesome by Greg Lamberson

Book Description:

Johnny Grissom, aka "Johnny Gruesome," is a small town high school student with a passion for fast cars and loose women, served with a dash of sex, drugs, and head-banging rock 'n roll.

People think Johnny has a chip on his shoulder, but they haven't seen anything yet. When his murder by a drug dealer is made to look like an accident, Johnny returns from the grave as a vengeance crazed zombie.

With his over-the-top personality intact and the clock on his decomposing body ticking, "The Headbanger from Hell" vows to teach the residents of Red Hill the meaning of true fear.

Right after he watches his favorite horror movies one last time on DVD.

Book Trailer:

My Opinion:

I could NOT put this book down!!! Okay... I could, but only because I was forced to due to work and such, but other than that, I didn't... not even to drive. Seriously! This book was fabulous! The action in this book kept you wanting to read just to see what happened next. The only thing I was disappointed in from the book was that no one ever discovered the priest! I wanted to see the reactions to that one. There was another scene in the book that ALMOST happened that didn't that I am VERY thankful to Lamberson for, but I won't mention it here in order to avoid spoilers for those who have yet to read the book. This book was full of surprises and I can't wait to read more in the future by this author. This would make a great movie, yet I wouldn't watch it probably for two reasons... 1) it couldn't live up to the book and 2) it'd be sick as fuck!!!

MUST READ FOR ALL HORROR FANS!!!

Book 49 of 2008: Covenant by John Everson

Book Description:

To the residents of the sleepy coastal town of Terrel, the cliffs of Terrel's Peak are a deadly place, an evil place where terrible things happen. Like a series of mysterious teen suicides over the years, all on the same date. Or other deaths, usually reported as accidents. Could it be a coincidence? Or is there more to it? Reporter Joe Kieran is determined to find the truth.

Kieran's search will lead him deep into the town's hidden past, a past filled with secrets and horror, and to the ruins of the old lighthouse atop the tragic cliffs. He will uncover rumors and whispered legends - including the legend of the evil entity that lives and waits in the caves below Terrel's Peak...

My Opinion:

Horror... sex... suicides... sex... action (yeah, in the form of sex as well as other)... well... you get the idea!!! I'm an avid reader of both horror and erotica and when they are mixed together as well as John Everson has done with Covenant, well... that just puts a fan like me in "book heaven". Everson grabbed my attention immediately when I started this book and I had a hard time forcing myself to put it down in order to go to sleep at night or to go back into work after my lunch break each day. The scenes are compiled with such vivid details that I could truly visualize what all was going on. Of course, in some instances this might not have been the best of things. (John... if you're reading this I'm sure you'll know what I'm referring to!) I found this to be a great "starter" book for me into the works of Everson and am greatly looking forward to reading more works by him. (Especially the sequel to COVENANT... SACRIFICE... but do I REALLY have to wait until June of 2009?!?!?!?!?) I definitely recommend this to all fans of horror that don't mind a bit of sex put into the mix. Everson has quickly reached my top fave horror authors list, not only for his writing style, but also due to the fact that he is such an all-around great guy. I've conversed with him via email off and on for a while now and last weekend had the opportunity to meet him in person (see picture below) and get my copy of COVENANT signed. I like when authors take the time out to get to know their fans as I know at least one author that would probably be my fave author of all time if they were to do the same, but due to the lack of that I can't put them up at the top of the list. Sorry... I've gotten off on a tangent, but in conclusion... READ COVENANT BY JOHN EVERSON!!!!!!!!!!

Book 48 of 2008: Ring by Koji Suzuki

Book Description:

One night in Tokyo, four healthy teenagers die one after another of heart failure. A journalist, the uncle of one of the victims and intrigued by the coincidence, investigates and learns of a videotape that the four watched together a week before dying. Amid a series of bizarre and frightening images is a warning that the viewer will die in exactly one week unless a certain act is performed. The description of the act, of course, has been erased from the videotape, and the journalist's work to solve the mystery assumes a deadly urgency.

Ring is not only a chillingly told horror story but also a shrewdly intelligent and subversive commentary on the power of imagery and contagious consumerism. Ring spawned one of Japan's highest-grossing films ever as well as the blockbuster DreamWorks remake starring Naomi Watts. The Japanese version of the novel has sold almost 3 million copies.

In addition to being dubbed "the Stephen King of Japan," Koji Suzuki is a respected authority on childrearing. He likes to roam Japan in his RV and has written about fulfilling his lifelong dream of riding his motorcycle across the United States, from Los Angeles to Key West. Suzuki is based in Tokyo.

My Opinion:

I read this book several years back and then went on to watch both the American and Japanese versions of the movie... therefore, I had to read the book again to make myself feel better about the storyline once again. The movies SUCKED!!! On top of that, they really didn't follow the book at all. After having re-read the book I realized just how much worse the movies were than I originally thought. It's like it was a wole new storyline rather than a movie form of the book. I also didn't get why people thought the movies were so scary. Uh... yeah... sur-re!!! Anywho... the book is VERY good and I love the way Koji Suzuki writes. I'm looking forward to progressing further with this trilogy as I've yet to read SPIRAL or LOOP. I will review them as I read them. Oh... and in case you're curious... find below the trailers for the two craptastic movies...

The Ring Trailer (American Version):



Ringu (Japanese Version):

Book 46 of 2008: The Jigsaw Man by Gord Rollo

Book Description:

What would you be willing to do for two million dollars? Michael Fox answered that question for himself. The hard way. He was just about to commit suicide when a stanger approached him and offered him two million in cold, hard cash. All he wanted in return was Fox's right arm....

But that's only the beginning. The mysterious surgeon's plans go far, far beyond one simple limb. And Fox is not his only "donor." Once Fox is trapped behind the operating room doors, he discovers there is no escape from the madness, as bit by bloody bit his body is taken away from him...and gradually replaced....

My Opinion:

I had never read FRANKENSTEIN or any books related to it so this was my first book of that horror sub-genre and I was quite impressed! This book was extremely fast-paced and kept you wanting to know what was going to happen next. If I had had more time available I probably would've read it in just a couple of days, but I ended up stretching it out a bit longer.

Gord Rollo detailed the scenes and characters VERY well in this book. I was able to picture most everything going on... though some of it I would have preferred to not have had such a visual on! Rollo is a very talented writer and I am definitely looking forward to reading more by him in the future.

I highly recommend this to any fans of horror as it's definitely a must read. Thanks Nick for bringing this one to my attention.

Book 32 of 2008: Suckers by Jeff Strand and J.A. Konrath

Book Description:

Vampires.

Well, not vampires—Pires. Whack-jobs who think they're vampires. They've inducted an innocent young girl into their cult, and her mother has hired legendary (not in a good way) private investigator Harry McGlade to get her back.

Infiltrating this bloodthirsty cult is too big of a job for just one man, especially when he has the intelligence of half a man. But when he joins forces with the also-less-than-100%-competent Andrew Mayhem, maybe, just maybe, their combined efforts will succeed in thwarting this savage menace. Or perhaps they'll just embarrass themselves and get killed.

Masters of humor-tainted-horror (or horror-tainted-humor) J.A. Konrath and Jeff Strand team up for the first time in this hilariously gruesome adventure that does not contain a single lame "You suck!" or "That bites!" joke. Suckers. The ultimate Idiots vs. Phony Vampires extravaganza!

My Opinion:

I'm a bit late in blogging about this book as I read it a week ago when it first arrived in my mailbox. I pretty much read it in 1 setting, but had to go to bed in order to wake up for work so I slept and then got up and read the last 20 pages before getting ready. LOL!!! I certainly couldn't resist this book considering it contains 2 of my all-time favorite authors in it... Jeff Strand who I've been obsessed with for MANY years and J.A. Konrath who I'm a new fan of this year (and he's definitely a new fave!).

I wasn't sure what to expect throwing Andrew Mayhem and Harry McGlade together as both are very bizarre and extreme characters, but I knew it'd be a fun ride! The book started off with Andrew getting into his typical trouble with his wife as he screwed things up yet again and then just as fast he gets himself into more severe trouble by running into Harry. I was surprised to find that Konrath's writing style in this book took on more of Strand's style with the slap-stick humor... I wasn't expecting that. The story flowed really well together considering the story was written with every other chapter written by the opposite author and taken from the opposite character's point-of-view.

I'd love to see future stories containing both Harry and Andrew. Maybe I'll have to put a little buzz in Jeff and J.A.'s ears. In the meantime, I'll be reading the next Konrath book very soon as I still have 2 in the Jack Daniels series that I need to read. Now if Jeff would only release the next Andrew Mayhem book... *hint hint*

Book 29 of 2008: Night Life by Ray Garton

Book Description:

Davey Owen is a man with a death sentence. Nearly twenty years and a lifetime ago, Davey battled a circle of vampires and survived... forever changed. Many of the vampires were destroyed, but the ones who escaped have been hunting Davey ever since. Now they've found him. The passing years have only intensified their thirst for revenge, and at last their prey is within sight. They will make sure that this time he does not escape. They will not rest until Davey pays for what he did to them. With his last drop of blood.

My Opinion:

This was the sequel to the last book I read, LIVE GIRLS, and I liked the way the story continued on. I also liked how this sequel pretty much forced the reader to have read the prequel in order to fully get the background instead of doing a bunch of flashbacks within the story taking up the word count of what should be a completely new novel. (thank you Ray!) I will say that I agree with Garton in that this wasn't his strongest novel, but I still enjoyed the story. I just felt that his writing style wasn't as strong as it had been in the other books I had read by him. Considering the stuff he was going through during the time he was writing it though, I completely understand. I enjoyed how the characterization progressed with Davey and Benedek in this story and hope to learn more about the futures of all the remaining character's of NIGHT LIFE in a future novel.

Book 28 of 2008: Live Girls by Ray Garton

Book Description:

The garish neon lights of New York City's Times Square can be very seductive. And so can the promises of dark pleasures on the seedier side streets. To Davey Owen, the lure of a glowing sign advertising "Live Girls" was too hard to resist. He was looking for a little entertainment. He found instead a nightmare in the form of a beautiful but strangely pale woman. A woman who offers him passion, ecstasy - and eternal life - but takes in exchange his lifeblood and his very soul.

My Opinion:

After having recently read RAVENOUS by Garton I wanted to check out more by him so moved on to his vampire series. I found myself loving LIVE GIRLS even more than RAVENOUS (most likely because I prefer vampires to werewolves plus... who can top a book about vampire chicks stealing blood from a guy's erection... ha ha!!!) I found LIVE GIRLS to be a refreshing take on the vampire stories out there as a lot of the myths were left behind. As with RAVENOUS I found myself growing attatched to many of the characters and am looking forward to continuing the saga of some of them in NIGHT LIFE (which I've already started reading).

For those horror fans out there who've yet to give Ray Garton a shot... what are you waiting for?!?!?!? Check him out!

Book 26 of 2008: Ravenous by Ray Garton

Book Description:

A corpse gets up and walks out of the hospital morgue. Minutes later, a policeman is killed outside the same hospital…and partially eaten. Something deadly has come to the coastal California town of Big Rock—something that's leaving mangled and devoured bodies in its wake.

Sheriff Arlin Hurley refused to believe the wild talk of werewolves. Then a tuft of wolf's fur was found on one of the victims. But there's more than one werewolf on the prowl. It's quickly becoming an epidemic, the curse passed on not through blood but through sex. As the sheriff and his men set out to stop the spreading terror, they'll learn that many of the old werewolf legends are just myths. The reality is far worse.

My Opinion:

So I'm in Waldenbooks and RAVENOUS catches my eye on the shelf so I scoop it up and start reading the back as I'm trying to talk myself out of it since I have so many books at home as it is and really can't afford to buy new books, but then I get to the part in the description about how the "virus" is spread via sex rather than biting and I can't say no to a book like that, so... well... obviously I bought it.

Ironically, 2 days later, Ray Garton friends me here on MySpace. I thought the timing was ironic and pretty darn cool as well. I ended up putting RAVENOUS up next on Mt. TBR in order to get to it and let him know what I thought of it, which is what I'm trying to do now within all this rambling! hee hee!

Anyway, I devoured RAVENOUS within just a few days. I haven't read a lot of werewolf horror books, but I can almost guarantee that even if I had this would be one of my favorites! Garton's writing style is new to me as his other books (I'm ashamed to say) have been waiting on Mt. TBR for quite some time, (though they are definitely getting bumped up now!) but I truly enjoy the way he writes. RAVENOUS was filled with scares, lust, sadness (I really didn't want some of the people that died to die!!!), and tons of suspense. I am truly looking forward to reading more from this author and hopefully a sequel to RAVENOUS one day.

Book 24 of 2008: The Bitchfight by Michael A. Arnzen

Book Description:

Mike Arnzen, THE BITCHFIGHT. 14,000 words of original fiction from one of horror's up and comers. A nasty tale plumbing the depths of human depravity.

My Opinion:

Hmmm... I didn't find much of a "description" for this one, but that might be the best way to go into reading this short chapterbook. Michael A. Arnzen calls this a "horror comedy", but honestly, I didn't laugh at all (much like the author of the forward, Brian Hodge). That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the story... it simply means I didn't find the subject matter as humorous. I actually felt quite the opposite about it. If I sound like I'm struggling for words in this "review", that's because I am. I'm still a bit undecided on my true feelings of this novelette. This is my first peek into the writing style of Arnzen and I really like the way he puts his words down on paper, but as for the subject matter of this story, I found it a bit disturbing. I definitely wasn't offended by any means (as it takes a great deal to offend me) but that doesn't mean that subject matter had me thinking a lot. I mean, I can't imagine the events in this book taking place in real life, but if they did... well, I'd probably have a VERY hard time being around this kind of situation and would hope to never have to be. Arnzen definitely has a way with words and describing everything in the book. I honestly felt like I was sitting on the sidelines watching a lot of the events in this book. There were also a few times where I thought that he was going to go somewhere with the story that I was really hoping he didn't go to. (thank you for NOT going those places Arnzen!!!) Of course, having the thought that he MIGHT go there might be saying something a bit about me as well. LOL!!! I do have to wonder where the authors come up with these ideas though. I guess that's why I'm the reader and these other guys are the writers. Maybe one day I'll have a crazy idea or two pop into my head and I'll be able to disturb a few people out there, but in the meantime, I think I'll look for some more books by Arnzen to read!

Book 22 of 2008: Gleefully Macabre Tales by Jeff Strand

Book Description:

Cemetery Dance magazine says that "No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." Gleefully Macabre Tales compiles 32 of his most twisted blends of cringe-worthy horror and ghoulish humor, with a couple of serious pieces thrown in just to mess with you.

This collection includes tales from his three chapbooks (Two Twisted Nuts, Socially Awkward Moments With An Aspiring Lunatic, and Funny Stories of Scary Sex) and numerous other stories both popular and obscure, including "Really, Really Ferocious" (the one with the wiener dog), "High Stakes" (the one with the slot machine), "Roasting Weenies by Hellfire" (the one with Satan), "The Bad Candy House" (the one with a very unpleasant old man at Halloween) and "The Socket" (the one with the eyeball socket).

It also includes two of his entries in the World Horror Convention gross-out contest. But you don't want to read them.

So if you're looking to laugh, gasp, gag, or do all three at the same time, making sort of a weird sound that hurts your lungs and elicits odd glances from nearby pedestrians, don't miss Gleefully Macabre Tales!

My Opinion:

Being a huge Jeff Strand fan I was torn when it came to buying this book as I wanted the book, but the covered creeps the hell out of me due to my fear of clowns. *shudder* In the end, I gave in and just try not to look at the cover much.

This book is stuffed full o' Strand goodness and has a little something for everyone, well... maybe not EVERYONE, but for all of us twisted, psychotic people that like to read about gross things. ha ha!!! My favorite new-to-me stories within were (in random order):

Socially Awkward Moments With An Aspiring Lunatic
Werewolf Porno
Glimpses
Abbey's Shreik
Howard, the Tenth Reinder & Howard Rises
Wasting Grandma

I actually have the chapter books for the first 2 mentioned, but hadn't had the chance to read them yet, so now I can keep from breaking the mini-spines of those chapter books for now. :)

In addition, 3 of Strand's stories that I've enjoyed in the past and still enjoy are:

The Socket
The Bad Candy House
Mr. Sensitive

Probably my least favorite stories in the book were:

Them Old West Mutations (this one reminded me of Mandibles and just isn't my kind of story)
One of Them (I guess I'm in the majority on this one based on the story notes at the back of the book)

It's nice to have a compilation of Strand's stories all in one book instead of having to go from one book to another and I do hope there is a GMT 2, 3, etc... in the future.

I did think one thing while reading this though... if I ever meet Jeff Strand & there is a chainsaw anywhere nearby... I'm running like hell!!! It seems like a chainsaw is a VERY common weapon in his stories and I wouldn't doubt that that would be his weapon of choice if he were to ever have a breakdown and go on a killing spree!!!

Book 21 of 2008: Duma Key by Stephen King

Book Description:

NO MORE THAN A DARK PENCIL LINE ON A BLANK PAGE. A HORIZON LINE, MAYBE.

BUT ALSO A SLOT FOR BLACKNESS TO POUR THROUGH...

A terrible accident takes Edgar Freemantle's right arm and scrambles his memory and his mind, leaving him with little but rage as he begins the ordeal of rehabilitation. When his marriage suddenly ends, Edgar begins to wish he hadn't survived his injuries. He wants out. His psychologist suggests a new life distant from the Twin Cities, along with something else:

"Edgar, does anything make you happy?"

"I used to sketch."

"Take it up again. You need hedges...hedges against the night."

Edgar leaves for Duma Key, an eerily undeveloped splinter of the Florida coast. The sun setting into the Gulf of Mexico calls out to him, and Edgar draws. Once he meets Elizabeth Eastlake, a sick old woman with roots tangled deep in Duma Key, Edgar begins to paint, sometimes feverishly; many of his paintings have a power that cannot be controlled. When Elizabeth's past unfolds and the ghosts of her childhood begin to appear, the damage of which they are capable is truly devastating.

The tenacity of love, the perils of creativity, the mysteries of memory and the nature of the supernatural -- Stephen King gives us a novel as fascinating as it is gripping and terrifying.

My Opinion:

This book took me forever to read, but not because it wasn't a good book, but because it was a hardback book and rather large/heavy/bulky. I actually enjoyed the book quite a lot especially as the book came to a climax a bit into the second half of the book. The story took a major turn in the book, which made it quite exciting and fast-paced. I did have to laugh at the obvious "advertisements" for his son's book HEART-SHAPED BOX by King using a heart-shaped box as an object in the book several times near the end. I am glad to be done reading this though as I was really tired of lugging that monster around, but I'm definitely glad that I have had the opportunity to read the story though.

Book 16 of 2008: Right House on the Left by Steve Vernon, Mark McLaughlin, and L.L. Soares

Book Description:

Right House on the Left is a deluxe chapbook with three imaginative tales mixing humor and horror. The first is "The Outhouse on the Edge of Forever," by Steve Vernon, where a mystical outhouse built for a community picnic becomes the source of some inspired horror and hilarity. "Don’t Look in the Little Storage Room Behind the Furnace," by Mark McLaughlin, takes many of the horror fiction staples and parodies them in a tale about a family moving into a house with a haunted past. Finally, in "The Blood Splattered Mirror Ball," by L.L. Soares, an exclusive club becomes haunted by the fun-loving spirits of some unpopular people who had always been refused admittance. The chapbook presents a wide variety of writing styles and tales and they all work well for those who are familiar with the horror genre. The chapbook is perfect for horror fans and recommended for libraries that support a large community of horror readers.

My Opinion:

Right House on the Left was published by Novello Publishers in a limited release. I lucked into receiving my copy direct from one of the wonderful authors within, L.L. Soares, who I’m happy to have become really good friends with thanks to the wonderful Internet world!

Soares’ story, THE BLOOD-SPLATTERED MIRROR BALL, starts off with a scene of a guy snorting coke off of a model’s ass and from then on everything that happens makes you feel like you, the reader, are the one snorting that coke! Soares describes the events of the party in so much vivid detail that you feel you are standing in the midst of it, but thankfully you’re not as some very f’ed up stuff happens... though I’ll leave that for each of you to read as to not spoil it.

In addition to L.L’s story, I also got my first peek at the works of both Steve Vernon and Mark McLaughlin. Vernon’s story, THE OUTHOUSE ON THE EDGE OF TERROR used some very unique alliteration that I found amusing and who can go wrong with a book full of potty humor? McLaughlin’s story, DON’T LOOK IN THE LITTLE STORAGE ROOM BEHIND THE FURNACE, also had a bit of potty humor in it as well what with the zombie eating creatures that pooped the zombies back out. HA HA HA!!! That was just classic!!! And ya know, now that I think back on it, Soares’ story also had potty humor due to the horse scene.

So... all in all... this was one "shitty" chapterbook... and I mean that in the best possible way as this story collection is hilarious and extremely well-written. I loved all of the varying styles of writing and the combination of stories. I will definitely be looking into other works of all three of these authors, as well as anything else published by Novello Publishers!